“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” -The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Quantum mechanics tells us that when we are certain of our position, we can’t be sure of our momentum, and vice versa. And how true that is of life: When we’re sure of who we are and where we are going, we’re probably not growing at maximum aptitude. Growth occurs when we are uncomfortable, uncertain, unpleasant – even sad and fearful. It’s the pain that helps us to grow, that reassures us we are pushing ourselves to the limit.
Yet, as wise as the most notable clichés are, they aren’t always consoling. It’s easy to sit back and say we’re going to be strong when trouble comes, but when it actually occurs, we moan and groan and complain. We cry and wail and get stuck. Too often, we let the negative overtake our lives.
One of the most uplifting words of wisdom I’ve heard recently is to give up the idea of what you and your life should be. For instance, we all expect to be happy. We assume something is wrong when we’re not. While I’m a huge proponent of optimism and making the most of every situation, sometimes it’s comforting to know that we’re not always supposed to be happy. Sometimes we’re supposed to be sad. Or scared. Or angry. And that’s OK too.
And it works like that with other areas of your life, too. When we’re not in the job or house or car or have whatever it is we want, we tend to think that there is something wrong with us. But in reality, there is nothing wrong with you. Perhaps something needs to be adjusted about what it is you’re doing. Remember: we’re human beings, not human doings. Who we are is not so much in our results, but in what we do about them.
So in the places in my life where I’m not content (i.e., weight loss, organizing my workplace and home), I’m learning not to judge myself harshly. Instead, I’m working on changing what I do, while still loving who I am.
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Founder and CEO Nicki Zevola started FutureDerm as a medical (M.D.) student studying to be a dermatologist. She is an award-winning scientific researcher and writer. She currently is concentrating on FutureDerm and developing FutureDerm's one-of-a-kind products. She can be found on Google+ and Twitter.View all Nicki Zevola posts.
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