“The opposite of love is not hate. It’s indifference.” -Elie Wiesel
Name your 5 biggest pet-peeves. These can be anything from racial discrimination to people who wear two different colored socks.
The truth of the matter is, what we allow ourselves to focus on, we become. Whether we love it or despise an idea, object, or emotion, if we focus attention on it, it becomes a part of our daily consciousness.
I have an Asian-American male friend who went to medical school in Pittsburgh. He was fairly miserable during his four years here, consistently making remarks like, “Nobody makes it big from Pittsburgh,” “People here are racist,” and so on and so forth. Sure enough, whenever you’d hang out with him, he’d point out people scowling at us on the street, the limited numbers of Asians on the street, you name it.
I have another Asian-American male friend, still in Pittsburgh. He’s quite popular, has a girlfriend, participates in various athletic leagues, you name it. He always says, “People in Pittsburgh are great. There’s so many opportunities!” And sure enough, people and opportunities seem to find him. He has an impressive resume that only gets more so, year after year.
The difference? My first friend had a bad attitude. He felt people didn’t like him, and sure enough, everything from his downcast eyes to slumped posture to timid method of speaking made sure they didn’t. On the other hand, my second friend is confident. The sparkle in his eyes, upbeat can-do-anything attitude, and well-iterated speech opens doors for him. He could be in the woods and bears would come out to be friends with him. (Or maybe not. But you get the idea).
I’m not saying there are never true problems. There certainly are difficult circumstances. Yet what I’m talking about are the small or trivial things that bug you. Do you find people are rude, more often than not? Maybe you need to work on smiling more, having a better attitude, and presenting yourself with confidence. Do you find yourself bothered by others’ incompetence or sloppiness? Maybe you need to work on being more laid-back, seeing the softer side, or being less critical in general.
When you free yourself of worrying about the little things, you have more time and energy to devote to solving your real problems. Better yet, your mind and body are free to work on new things. Your creativity returns. Your curiosity expands.
Take the all-or-nothing challenge: Imagine everyone in the world had your pet peeve as a characteristic. Would it be earth-shattering? If no, let it go. For instance, if everyone in the world was abusive? Yes, that’s worthy of disliking, with every part of your being. If everyone in the world popped their gum too loudly or talked in the movies? No, that’s not worth your time and effort.
So let the small stuff go. You’ll be rewarded with bigger dreams, ideas, and thoughts than you ever thought possible. Promise.
Photo source: What bugs you? Lubber Grasshopper, a photo by BluueFox on Flickr.