Everyone told me when I became a parent that my life was going to drastically change.
However, being a rather independent, go against the grain type, I didn’t necessarily believe them. I went into all of this a little defiant, a little resistant.
Now, five months in, I will admit, my life has drastically changed. Some of this I am ok with, whereas some of it I am working on.
Areas of my “new” life that are wonderful:
1.) Spending time with Anthony. I love being a mom. Cuddling, feeding, singing, reading to him, playing with him — could do it all day. Love it so much.
2.) My work/childcare situation. We may be a team of 25, but everyone was cool with me bringing Anthony to work with me (with a nanny too, I’m good at multitasking but I’m not *that* good!) and it’s been amazing. Three or four days a week, he comes with me, and it’s the absolute best of both worlds. One or two days a week, he’s with my mom all day, and that’s awesome too.
3.) My productivity and efficiency. Being a successful entrepreneur and starting a business from scratch are all about knowing the difference between busyness and actual productivity. Because there are fewer hours in the day, I’m more planned and structured, and hence productive and efficient, than ever. And I love that.
4.) My Home situation. My husband is incredibly hands-on as a parent. Early on, we started sharing duties: feedings, nighttime wake-ups, extra chores, even short periods on the weekends. I know I’m incredibly lucky, but I am also careful to be respectful about this; he is not helping, he is parenting, just as I am. And I make sure he knows I am no more special as a mom than he is as a dad, as we are both “parents” and equal partners. And I think this is so healthy for me and makes me so happy.
Of course, there are also things I’m still trying to wrap my head around:
1.) Traveling for work. I used to travel for FutureDerm Media at least once or twice a month to meet with clients and potential clients. (We are particularly popular in NYC, Los Angeles, and Miami). But I haven’t been able to bring myself to leave him yet, and it’s not the best move for my business. I’m going to have to suck it up and leave for a few days soon, and I don’t know how I’m going to do it.
2.) Going out and enjoying myself. Besides a weekly date night, which I do realize is more than some parents have, I feel guilty every time I go out without him. I used to love bookstores, spa treatments, massages, shopping, movies… and now I’m always either working or with the baby. Like, I desperately need a haircut! So I need to get better and let go more, and not feel selfish for taking a little more “me” time.
3.) Feeling secure with everything. There are just so many different ways to parent and a lot of conflicting advice is out there, even from experts. I tend to be the type of person who likes information, but with this, I need to let go and roll and trust my instincts more, and that can be challenging.
Overall, I love being a parent and my new life, but it isn’t without its challenges. That said, I wouldn’t change it for the world.