I wish I could go into this post and say that my pregnancy has been a blessing, a breeze, and no problem at all.
Instead, if I’m being honest, of those, it’s really only been a blessing. While I’m humbled, ecstatic, and love the idea of being a mother, I am also often overwhelmed, emotional, and downright exhausted. The hardest part for me has been not being able to do all of the things I want to do as efficiently as I would like to do them. My body isn’t entirely my own anymore, it’s also shared by my son, and that means weight gain, fatigue, swollen feet, leg cramps, clumsy fingers and lower energy.
But I’m doing the best I can.
One of the most helpful things has been to remember my half-marathon trainings. I remember one line in particular: You wake up with a different body everyday. And it’s exactly the same in pregnancy: Some days are better than others, but no matter what, you have to get certain things done daily to get where you want to be. While the things I have to do are more along the lines of “Attend meetings” or “Finish blog post” than, say, “Run 5 miles today at pace” or “Finish 9-mile training run“, it’s the same idea. I’m in a training mindset. Sometimes more begrudgingly than others, but yes, in training for what is to come nonetheless.
Another helpful thing has been building (and utilizing) a support network. I often joke that I am a one-woman wolfpack, but the past few years have taught me that it’s easier, more efficient, and more enjoyable to have people you can depend upon who are genuinely caring, supportive, and helpful. The key has been to find people who aren’t competitive or comparative with me, and people who don’t try to judge or shame me. With these folks, I feel like I can let my guard down and be completely open, honest and vulnerable. And it’s helped a lot. Now, granted, I’m calling my mother at least once a day, sometimes in tears, lol, but she’s been great, and it’s good to have this type of support.
Lastly, the only other thing I have to say is, I’m embracing the mess. I crave burgers constantly. I can’t eat a salad without apples in it, or else I throw it up. (Yes, I’m serious). There are days I’m doing nothing but what is on my workplace to-do list and laying on my sofa. I have, like, two articles of regular clothing that still fit. My face is puffy. I cry at the drop of a hat. Sometimes I feel irrationally angry for no reason. And with that, I’m keeping a sense of humor, relying on people who don’t seem to judge me, and doing my best. I guess it’s all you can do.
All the best,
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