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Follow Friday + Nicki’s Personal Updates: When the Only Thing We Seem to Agree on is Yoga

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Nowadays, it’s not hard to find women at odds about various subjects.

Whether to work full-time or part-time. Whether to stay on the corporate ladder or go freelance or entrepreneurial. Whether to stay at home or keep working after children. Whether to stay or leave when time gets rough with their partners. Whether being a part of the 1% means you’re a part of the solution or the problem. Whether Generation X or Generation Y or Millennials are “right.”

It seems the only thing we can agree on nowadays is yoga.

Perhaps we always faced these ideological, racial, cultural, and religious divisions, but with the advent of social media and a lifestyle where we are constantly glued to our screens, it seems we are all more vocal about our opinions. Just last night I had a party amongst a lawyer, a public health professional, a fellow entrepreneur, and a nurse where I realized I was almost certain to offend someone with my thoughts on marriage, career, and the state of corporate America. It’s almost as though you have to be afraid to speak.

During a time where there are more external opinions than ever dividing us, I think it’s important to remember to relate with others on a deeper level. We all want love, security, peace, a sense of accomplishment, and meaning. Though we go about achieving these needs in different ways, I’ve found it’s important not talk so much about dividing facts and opinions, but to ask more open-ended questions. To seek to understand, rather than categorize. To want to hear stories, rather than differentiate. To be more curious about people and why they think the way that they do, rather than try to segregate everyone into different groups.

On a smaller scale, I used to judge my friends who get overly excited about certain events. I felt like they were being dishonest, in a way, exaggerating their words and seeming overly gushy. But I asked one of them why she gets so excited about simple things recently, she said, “Life is too short to hold back. When life’s good, let it be great.” And I learned something.

Men can’t say anything about women in our society without being condemned a sexist. But women — since grade school, we criticize other women. Even when you look at women who are friends, they typically are of similar age, race, educational background, income levels, and religions. Why is that? Why can’t we get befriend women who are distinct from us? It’s important as women that we try to connect with and understand one another, instead of separate and categorize one another.

With love,
Nicki

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